Let’s learn to say “Sorry”



Image:© Fotowerk/ Fotolia

These so hard to say words are in the basic of so many problems in a relationship and the relations between the people around us. Of course it is not possible every day, in every dispute and in every situation to be right, but when we are or we did the right thing, we put it on a plaster which we wave and when we make a mistake, we hide somewhere deep or pretend not to have understood it. This behavior may harm our relations with the closest people to us.

To say “Sorry!” does not mean the same as “I am weak!”. To say “Sorry, I was wrong!” means to be strong enough to confess your mistakes and respect enough the person next to you to say it. Never hesitate whether to confess a mistake and never be ashamed to do it before the loved one.

Sorry!” is a word we say when the words or our behavior have hurt someone and we want to ease their pain. It cannot do it all the time, but the other will feel much better when they know we sense the mistake and that it was a mistake and it will not happen again …

To be able to apologize to the loved one means you respect them and their feelings to you, not that you are weak!

How to do this?

First you have to be convinced in the reason why you apologize. When we tell our mistake this is more than apology although it does not exclude it. It is important when we go to the person to know why we apologize and then to do it. If your wife suffers because you are late without warning do not say “Sorry I am late”, because more appropriate will be to say “Sorry I didn’t call you to say I will be late”. If you are not clear with the reason, find it out.

There is nothing worse than the false apology! If you apologize just to pass the problem and this is understood, it leads to much greater pain and is more a sign of disrespect to the other person’s feelings.

Do not apologize for everything! It is not clear which is more wrong: never to say “Sorry!” or to repeat it for everything no matter how small. This belittles the power of your words! This will not solve your problem, it will show your weakness!

And one more thing of which you maybe never thought about – how to accept the apology? If someone overcomes their pride, realizes their mistake and says “Sorry! I was wrong!” the most wrong behavior is proudness in return. It may be expressed in many ways but the non-acceptance of the apology is like a slap to a child! Do not do this if you care about your relations!

And of course, be real! Keep this rule in your relations, everything else will be alright! Do not apologize unless you know why but keep in mind that you are both in the problem…

 




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